Legacy of Poverty and How To Change Your stinking Thinking

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Poverty

 

          

                         Legacy of Poverty and How

                   To Change Your Stinking Thinking

 

While I was an undergrad at South Arkansas University, in Magnolia, AR., I conducted my psychological research on, “Why We Fall In Love With Who Do”. In the yearlong research, I found that our beliefs about our relationships and why we choose to fall for some and not others, is learned from our parents interacted with one another, which became the blue print of what we expect from a relationship. Our spending habits, also learned from our parents, is more about the beliefs and behaviors of spending habits of how they utilized the resources they have. If your parents lived paycheck to paycheck, in most cases, so would their children. Regardless of wealth or poverty, our beliefs about how we save for a rainy day, or cash runs through our hands like sand from the beach, is a learned behavior; which you can unlearn, if you are smart enough and brave enough to step out of your comfort zone. Unless, the parents decided they wanted a better life for their children, and decided to break the generational cycle, by learning new financial skills to pass down to their lineage, the next generation would likely pass along the same spending habits they learned from their parents.

 

If the parents, paid bills and bought groceries first, then bought what the kids needed, as many families do, they will find themselves never having enough month, at the end of the money. If, by chance they learn new skills, like cutting back on buying things you don’t need, you can’t afford, or frivolous things that end up in a drawer or the bottom of a toy box, and usually break, it will be hard to get ahead.

 

Robert Kiyosaki, says to pay yourself 10% first. This sounds lubricous to people who cannot afford to waste a dollar, but the reasoning behind it is very simple. If you start a savings account with the 10% saved, when something breaks, or there is a job loss, or some other catastrophe, as life gives us many times, you will have money set aside to counteract these costs, or the majority of them, and you will not have to take out a loan, nor put it on credit, where you have to pay for it two to three times over; nor will you have to borrow from a Payday Loan service. You do not see Payday Loan services in wealthy neighborhoods, waiting like vulchers for your bad luck.

 

Most of our spending is over spending at the grocery store. My suggestion is to cut back on junk and buying prepackaged items. Cook dinners in a crockpot or make leftovers your family can eat on during the week. Make up small healthy packages of fruit, vegetables, and healthy snacks, that are readily accessible; that is usually what people grab from the kitchen, something quick and simple.

 

If you see something you just can’t live without, sell something from around the house you have not used in a while, and you no longer want (don’t sell other families things without their permission :).  You can have a garage sale, pick up extra work, or turn your hobby and the things you create into a part time business.  David Drews, from Renegade University and Financial Independence has a list of ways to make extra money. You can find his suggestions at http://www.mastermind-university.com/quick-cash-ideas_ways-to-make-money.php

Some other financial tips are at http://www.pinterest.com/conniesmiles/money-thoughts/

 

How we let things go, how we do not set healthy boundaries, how we spend our money, how we are afraid to fail, and we are afraid of rejection, all stems from three beliefs we have of ourselves.

  • We are afraid of failure. If we try, we may fail, so you don’t try to follow things through, living a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  • We are afraid of rejection. No one will want me or accept me if they truly knew who I am. The right people who are meant to be in your life, will love you and accept you the way you are. “Do not let the opinions of others, define who you are”! Connie Lee
  • We feel unworthy. People in your life may have continually put you down to make themselves feel better, which is a psychological term called, “Leveling”.. That has nothing to do with you, and says everything about who they are. Be proud of who you are. You are loved, accepted, and you are very worthy! You may lose a few friends, but you have to surround yourself with people who are on the same mission as you are, or like-minded people.

 

https://conniesmiles51.wordpress.com/2014/06/16/do-you-feel-unworthy-rejected-or-a-failure-by-connie-lee/

 

https://conniesmiles51.wordpress.com/2014/06/16/dont-let-your-future-be-determined-by-a-flip-of-a-coin-by-connie-lee/

 

Now, that you have insight on how to save money and change your limiting beliefs, I know you can live a more abundant life. “Every needless expenditure we make, takes away from our dreams”. Connie Lee. Good luck and I wish you much success.

 

Connie Lee

B.S. in Psychology

Conniesmiles51@gmail.com

 

poverty and parasites Jason Read

 

Ways To Make An Extra Income From Home:

Get Paid To Travel  http://conniejlee.incruises.com

Become a NIMB affiliate  by contacting me at conniesmiles51@gmail.com

Order Here: http://nimb-store.myshopify.com/?aff=2

 

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Do You Feel Unworthy, Rejected, or A Failure? By Connie Lee

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Most of us were not taught to be successful. I wasn’t taught to have faith in God, let alone, believe in myself.  I had to find that road on my own. I had to create a mental picture of the person I wanted to become, and take steps each day to become her. I closed my eyes, thought of where I would like to be in life, what I would have liked to achieved, where I would like to live, my professional office, my degrees, how I looked, my ideal weight, and even what I smelled like. With this visual image in mind, I stepped into her body. I wanted to resist because I was not having to struggle and fight, everything seemed to flow flawlessly. I made myself stay there until I was comfortable with the new me. It seemed a lot better than going back to where I was.

You deserve a better life. People may have used you, lied to you, abused you, and betrayed you, and made you think you do not deserve better, but you do; and deep down, you know it. We all have insecurities and limiting beliefs. How we let things go, how we do not set healthy boundaries, how we spend our money, how we are afraid to fail, and we are afraid of rejection, all stems from three beliefs we have of ourselves.

  • We are afraid of failure. If we try, we may fail, so you don’t try to follow things through, living a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  • We are afraid of rejection. No one will want me or accept me if they truly knew who I am. The right people who are meant to be in your life, will love you and accept you the way you are. “Do not let the opinions of others, define who you are”! Connie Lee
  • We feel unworthy. People in your life may have continually put you down to make themselves feel better, which is a psychological term called, “Leveling”.. That has nothing to do with you, and says everything about who they are. Be proud of who you are. You are loved, accepted, and you are very worthy! You may lose a few friends, but you have to surround yourself with people who are on the same mission as you are, or like minded people.

I want to remind you that is okay to believe in your dreams, even when everyone else tells you have an impossible dream. Never let others, who have never achieved their dreams, keep you from obtaining yours. You know what you are capable of and your abilities. Skills and networks will happen along the journey. You just have to put one step in front of the other, and keep moving forward. Yes, you will fail! You learn from your mistakes and find a better way of accomplishing the task that lay before you. Have an impossible goal? Make a mind map. Put yourself in the center and your goal on the outside. Lay out each step it will take to get there and how you can make that happen. Find a mentor you can learn the skills you need to. YouTube has plenty of tutorials for you. If you seek a mentor in person or online, be prepared to ask relevant questions, so as to not waste their time. You both will gain more value from the encounter. Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE, which says, “I’M Possible”. It is only your limited perspectives, beliefs, and values that put limits on what you could achieve. Whoever made you believe you are not good enough, you don’t deserve peace in your life, you will always be rejected, and you are unlovable, was only projecting their fears and insecurities onto you. Shake it off!! Look yourself in the mirror every day, and tell yourself, “I Love You”, “I am magnificent and worthy to receive all good things in my life”. “I will take 5 actions every day to make that happen, and log them,” “I am supported and respected”. I will even go one step further and tell you to stand their naked, in all of your beautiful glory, flaws and all, and tell yourself, “I love even the hard to love flaws about yourself.” It is time to truly learn to love the valuable person you are. Stop giving others so much power to dictate your life, and tell you what image you should hold before they deem you acceptable to society. Stand up and take your power back!! Soon, your mind will begin to attract all of things you have written down. Don’t sabotage it because it is out of your comfort zone. Embrace your new you and your new life, because you deserve so much more. You can do it. I believe in you. Now, get going, what are you sitting there for?

 

 

 

The truth is that nothing you do defines you as a person. You, that small part of the universal energetic flux, are enough, just the way you are. In fact, you are fundamental to the proper functioning of that massive cosmos as a whole. So don’t sweat it when things don’t work out the way you thought they would.

 

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what you become depends on what you overcome

 

 

 

For All Computer, IPAD, IPhone, Laptop, Smartphone, and Social Networkers, Ways To De-stress Your Neck and Your Life

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peace   For All Computer, IPAD, IPhone, Laptop, Smartphone, and Social Networkers, Ways To De-stress Your Neck and Your Life   Let’s face it, most of us are stressed out and carry a lot of tension in our necks and shoulders, especially if you bend your neck over a smartphone, IPAD, IPhone, or a computer, while engaging in social media.  You may think you do not have time to relax, but I will show you some de-stressing tips you can use, right where you are, and in just a few minutes a day.   To confidently handle everyday stressors, I had to learn to distress with a few short methods and exercises, you can do in minutes, each day.

http://youtu.be/g-jSBBwr8Ko  Qi Gong: 7 Minutes of Magic      (for Health)

  • Take a few Quiet moments throughout the day to close your eyes, and think of the happiest time in your life, and take yourself to that moment; relish the time, and savor the sights, sounds, and smells.
  • Take a few moments to yourself, because if you don’t, you cannot effectively give your time to others.
  • Find a partner to confide in. People with partners who support them and love them, tend to live longer, happier lives. Stress turned inward can create a myriad of health issues.
  • If you sit in front of a computer, IPAD, or smart phone, with your neck lowered every day, I have included some exercises to ease the tension and build the small muscles in your neck, which will ease the tension and may help with the headaches associated with keeping your neck at an angle.

Below are some exercises to strengthen your neck muscles and to relieve tension. I hope this helps. Namaste   Connie Lee Conniesmiles51@gmail.com 318.540.4464

 

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Photo from Jeb Willard Physical Therapy, Springhill, LA

Be More Productive, Focus With Clarity, and Feel More Confident

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“Be more productive, focus with clarity, and feel more confident”

 

Let’s face it, most of us are stressed out and carry a lot of tension in our necks and shoulders, especially if you bend your neck over a smartphone, IPAD, IPhone, or a computer, while engaging in social media.  You may think you do not have time to relax, but I will show you some destressing tips you can use, right where you are, and in just a few minutes a day.

 

Stress is inevitable in our everyday life, but we can learn to manage the stress better and learn how to effectively react to our stressful situations. Things happen in our lives that we cannot avoid and we have to deal with them;

Like:

  • Regrets

  • Getting stuck in traffic and/or being late for some reason

  • Procrastinating

  • Always thinking of the negative outcomes

  • Too much time on social media and not effectively managing your time

  • Disorganization

  • Debt or lack of Money Management

  • And a host of everyday life events, we have to confront

While we can’t undo regrets, we can apologize where we need to, and go one step farther by asking, “What can I do account for my mistake”. For we all fail, but it what you do after that, which determines your success or failure.

Procrastination is a habit you can slowly turn around with a few steps each day. We put off writing a book, going on our great adventure, visiting friends and family, and so on, because we believe we can do it later. Later never comes, and before you know it, you are older, maybe wiser, less energetic, too many irons in the fire, and many more excuses on why you haven’t become or done what you had hoped to accomplish. Every time we say we are going to accomplish something and do not, it eats away at our self-esteem, and we feel less confident about who we are and what we can accomplish. Stop making excuses and start making a plan for what you want in life. Don’t have the money? Sell something; get a loan; ask for someone to invest in you and your project who believes in your work; get an extra/part time job for a season to gain startup capital; or trade for something you need. To get yourself to work on time, try laying your clothes out the night before, to allow yourself a few more minutes to fix your hair, to fight traffic, or to drop off the kids.

If you are always thinking negatively, you need to stop right now. The mind is more powerful than you ever imagined. Did you hear the story recently, of the young mother who thought she was pregnant with quintuplets, only to find out in the delivery, she was not pregnant at all (http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2014/03/24/woman-has-phantom-pregnancy-with-quintuplets/)? The mind is very powerful and it reacts to your thoughts, whether real or assumed in the same manner of neurological responses. Over time you can develop hypertension with continual increased heart rate; continual cortisol increase will cause belly fat; increase stress can cause digestive issues, headaches, insomnia. When you don’t sleep well, your cells, which rejuvenate at night to help you build your immune system, will weaken, causing illnesses, inflammation, and depression from pain and exhaustion. Getting 6-8 hours of sleep is a necessity and not just a luxury. When you are constantly tired and do not feel well, your self-esteem and confidence suffers, which makes it hard to handle conflicts effectively.

 

My parents did not teach me about effective money management. I had to learn those skills by reading as I became older. Like most of us, my money habits, I learned from my parents. To eliminate debt, I began to use more cash and not put a lot on credit. I began to pay myself first, 10% of my earnings. You will always have bills, or one more thing you want to buy, but it is critical to start saving, even if it is just five dollars a week. When you have money saved, you will not have to borrow, or put something on credit, which you pay two or three times more in interest, when something breaks down. You can always sell something on EBAY, have a yard sale, sell to a pawn shop, pick up extra work, sell products online, and many more home based jobs to get extra money. If you know there is something you would like to buy, use one of the methods above, rather than continually take the money from your account, which you can’t afford to lose. Because once the money is gone, it is not coming back.

 

To confidently handle everyday stressors, I had to learn to distress with a few short methods and exercises, you can do in minutes, each day.

       http://youtu.be/g-jSBBwr8Ko  Qi Gong: 7 Minutes of Magic      (for Health)

  •  

  • Take a few Quiet moments throughout the day to close your eyes, and think of the happiest time in your life, and take yourself to that moment; relish the time, and savor the sights, sounds, and smells.

  • Take a few moments to yourself, because if you don’t, you cannot effectively give your time to others.

  • Find a partner to confide in. People with partners who support them and love them, tend to live longer, happier lives. Stress turned inward can create a myriad of health issues.

  • If you sit in front of a computer, IPAD, or smart phone, with your neck lowered every day, I have included some exercises to ease the tension and build the small muscles in your neck, which will ease the tension and may help with the headaches associated with keeping your neck at an angle.

       Below are some exercises to strengthen your neck muscles and to relieve tension. I hope this helps. Namaste

 

Connie Lee

Conniesmiles51@gmail.com

318.540.4464

 

Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project

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 I have been across the country and Canada, teaching communities, through free conferences, about the warning signs, solutions, and who to call if they suspect child abuse and human trafficking. Prevention and education are vital to our communities who would prefer to believe this does not happen in our community, and especially in our home; when we clearly know it does. Educating the parents, grandparents, and community is key. I am trained in Good Touch Bad Touch but feel like you do, that the burden should not be on the child. What this does is create awareness with them, where they have been taught in their home, that the sexual abuse is “normal” or a “game”, when it is not. We teach them to tell until someone listens, especially since most abuse happens from someone of close proximity. Adults from across the nation, rather they are young or old, still have two haunting questions, despite the trauma they endure, and they are, “Why did someone not believe me and protect me” and “Why did someone not stand up for me and say something’?
Until, we can break this multi-generational cycle of abuse, we will forever be failing our children, and selling out their future peace and happiness. It saddens me that while we work our hearts out to teach and to serve, we are still living in a culture which subjugates and sells women and children, while good people sit by in indifference and do nothing through the silence.

 

Is it true love or do you just love the way they make you feel?

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I ran across a Facebook post about a woman continually going back to a bad relationship, and as a survivor, I understood her dilemma. Survivors are taught many dysfunctional ways to love someone, forgetting we matter, and we deserve to be loved, accepted, and not rejected. It takes a long time to muddle through the atrocities we endured, through the lies of those who say they loved us most, and the belittling words, and horrific lives some have had to live, just to survive.

 

I have traveled all across America and Canada this last year and can tell you the most haunting questions which plague survivors are, regardless if they are young to old, 0-102, they all want to know two things; Despite all the trauma they endured throughout their young lives, survivors want to know, “Why Did Someone Not Believe Me” and “Why Did No One Stand Up For Me”?  Survivors will hide behind many addictions to get through the pain, like food, drugs, work, and many other ways to avoid the pain. You finally reach a point where you realize, you can run but you can not hide. You eventually have to deal with the pain or you will never stop numbing the pain. Some go through counseling, different healing modalities, some use faith, or a combination of both, to help them understand all they endured was not their fault; nor was there anything they could have done to prevent what happened.

 

It takes survivors awhile, to find themselves, and the journey is not always a pleasant one. But, for some of us, we finally come to a place where we learn healthy boundaries; we learn we are worthy; we learn we deserve to be loved; but , most of all, we learn, we must fall in love with ourselves and find our own happiness, before we become involved in a relationship. We each come into a relationship with our own baggage, and if your partner does not love themself, then your partner can not fully love you. You can’t love enough for two and you can’t make it work by yourself. We all have flaws, so you can’t expect your partner to be perfect. You just have to ask yourself, if the flaws are something I can accept and live with. If not, this is not a healthy relationship for you, and your soul mate is waiting a little farther along your journey.

 

Sometimes, in our need for affection or to not be lonely, we have to ask ourselves this important question? Am I in love with my partner, or do I just love the way this person makes me feel not so lonely, and fills my need for affection and love. So, do I truly him/her or do  love the void he/she fills?

 

I wish you many blessings of love, joy, happiness, peace, and prosperity.

 

Please share with me your thoughts.

 

Connie Lee/FACSA Foundation/Founder/President

318.540.4464

FACSAFoundation.org

facsasavethechildren@hotmail.com

Every Time You or Your Children Open Your Computer, You Are Inviting Thousands of Online Predators To Interact With You

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Online predators are an increasing threat to families and children everywhere. As soon as you or your child opens their computer, it opens a window for thousands of predators, who work in conjunction with one another. They teach each other how to appease the parents; how to avoid the law; and how to groom children. They might make a child feel like they are special and the child can trust no one but the person on the other end of the screen, but in truth, they may be grooming over a 100’s of children at a time.

 

They target both boys and girls of all ages and use the Internet to assume any identity they want. They are master manipulators with skills that is too much for a child to combat alone, let alone be aware of their cunning ways. The predator targets children who have a lack of emotional and family support (Parents can be home and not involved with their children). They develop a relationship with your child and it progresses to the child is made to believe they can trust no one, but the other person on the screen. The perpetrator may coax the child to start showing them pics of themselves, maybe undressing in front of the computer screen, or doing sexually explicit acts. They will then record these instances, or use the information your child has given in confidence to shame or guilt the child into silence. The grooming process may take months, but since they are grooming several, they have plenty of time to invest in the grooming process. Then one fateful day, they will ask to meet your child at a mall, a park, or somewhere of interest to your child, still pretending to be someone of the child’s age range.

 

With social network profiles and smart phones ISP addresses, predators can easily find information about potential victims since many naive children list personal information with no regard for safety. Teens will post their jersey numbers, school photos, dance club photos, clubs they are in, school and church events, and things happening around the house, which makes it easy for a perpetrator to find their address of your home, their license plate number, where they hang out, if mom and dad are home, if they have siblings, and any information they need to fulfill they hidden agendas. Post placed on the internet travel fast worldwide, and may never be recovered, which will impact future jobs and college applications.

Parents must be on guard to protect their families. It is better to have your child mad at you for snooping through their internet profiles and postings, than for them to go missing and never return home. There are many organizations and government agencies designed to assist parents with issues such as these. Internet searching for information will also provide many links and web sites to help.

Predator Grooming • Chat Rooms (based on interest) • Look for child oriented screen names • Search through SN profiles • Strike up a conversation • Show interest and gain their trust • Build them up (be their friend)

Predator Warning Signs • Spends a lot of time online • Find porn on the computer • Receive phone calls, mail, gifts from people you do not know • Withdraws from normal activity • Switches screen quickly (Alt+Tab) • Uses other accounts for e-mail or Instant Messaging

Some Helpful Web Sites for More Information: http://www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm http://www.ic3.gov http://www.missingkids.com http://www.netsmartz.org http://www.staysafe.org http://www.isafe.org/

Online predators: Help minimize the risk

How do online predators work?

How can parents minimize the risk of a child becoming a victim?

  • Talk to your kids about sexual predators and potential online dangers.
  • Use family safety settings that are built into Windows 8, Windows 7, and Windows Vista.
  • Follow age limits on social networking websites. Most social networking sites require that users be age 13 and over. If your children are under the recommended age for these sites, do not let them use them.
  • Young children should not use chat rooms—the dangers are too great. As children get older, direct them towards well-monitored kids’ chat rooms. Encourage even your teens to use monitored chat rooms.
  • If your children take part in chat rooms, make sure you know which ones they visit and with whom they talk. Monitor the chat areas yourself to see what kind of conversations take place.
  • Instruct your children to never leave the chat room’s public area. Many chat rooms offer private areas where users can have one-on-one chats with other users-chat monitors can’t read these conversations. These are often referred to as “whisper” areas.
  • Keep the Internet-connected computer in a common area of the house, never in a child’s bedroom. It is much more difficult for a predator to establish a relationship with your child if the computer screen is easily visible. Even when the computer is in a public area of your home, sit with your child when they are online.
  • When your children are young, they should share the family email address rather than have their own email accounts. As they get older, you can ask your Internet Service Provider (ISP) to set up a separate email address, but your children’s mail can still reside in your account.
  • Tell your children to never respond to instant messaging or emails from strangers. If your children use computers in places outside your supervision-public library, school, or friends’ homes-find out what computer safeguards are used.
  • If all precautions fail and your kids do meet an online predator, don’t blame them. The offender always bears full responsibility. Take decisive action to stop your child from any further contact with this person.

How can your kids reduce the risk of being victimized?

There are a number of precautions that kids can take, including:

  • Never downloading images from an unknown source-they could be sexually explicit.
  • Using email filters.
  • Telling an adult immediately if anything that happens online makes them feel uncomfortable or frightened.
  • Choosing a gender-neutral screen name that doesn’t contain sexually suggestive words or reveal personal information.
  • Never revealing personal information about themselves (including age and gender) or information about their family to anyone online and not filling out online personal profiles. For more specific rules, see How to help your kids use social websites more safely.
  • Stopping any email communication, instant messaging conversations, or chats if anyone starts to ask questions that are too personal or sexually suggestive.
  • Posting the family online agreement near the computer to remind them to protect their privacy on the Internet.

What can you do if your child is being targeted?

  • If your child receives sexually explicit photos from an online correspondent, or if she or he is solicited sexually in email, instant messaging, or some other way online, contact your local police. Save any documentation including email addresses, website addresses, and chat logs to share with the police.
  • Check your computer for pornographic files or any type of sexual communication—these are often warning signs.
  • Monitor your child’s access to all live electronic communications, such as chat rooms, instant messaging, and email.

Source: Some of the above information was adapted, with permission, from the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation publication A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety.

 

Tiscali has announced a partnership with online safety firm Crisp to help parents monitor and protect children when online.

The Crisp software analyses the content of online conversations in an attempt to uncover predators wanting to groom, and potentially abuse, children.

http://www.v3.co.uk/v3-uk/news/1975703/tiscali-offers-anti-grooming-software

http://www.familysafecomputers.org/predators.htm

http://www.microsoft.com/security/family-safety/predators.aspx

FACSAFoundation.org

 

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